Ringing in the New Year

As we prepare to ring in the New Year we unfortunately end on a very sad note. My mother-in-law, Eleanor Bellerive, is preparing to enter the kingdom of heaven. She has suffered from Alzheimers for a number of years and recently fell from her wheelchair breaking her hip. She had a partial hip replacement on Dec. 26th but has since refused to eat. The family made the decision not to insert a feeding tube as per her wishes. Unfortunately it is only a matter of time now. Please pray for a peaceful journey for her and comfort her husband, children and grandchildren. We wish everyone a Happy and prosperous New Year.

Another treatment done

As the year comes to a close I have another few treatments under my belt. Only one more this year, December 31st and then on to 2010. By mid-January I will have completed one year of treatment:) All things considered it is not bad. I am now on Tamoxifen in addition to the Herceptin. At my last visit with Dr. Rabe she decided to put me on this for the next few years. Although technically my tumor was estrogen and progesterone negative, it was 6-7% positive. Because of this and my age she decided tamoxifen was the best course of treatment. I may have to have a hysterectomy later but that depends on if I start ovulating again. The chemo put me in menopause but I may come out of it in which case more surgery. Let's hope not. The herceptin treatment isn't bad the pre-meds are probably the worst. Today was Herceptin and I feel kind of sluggish. We are all looking forward to Christmas although we could do without this bitter cold weather. Makes it harder to get motivated in the morning. I have decided to work with a trainer to get back into shape. He is kickin' my #$% so far! I guess I didn't realize how much the past year took out of me. I will get back to where I need to be, it is just going to take a little longer than I thought. Noah has moved into basketball season and of course is loving it. Alex & Regan are gearing up for finals and have begun cheering for basketball. They spent the afternoon at the gym running the beep test to determine their fitness and endurance levels. They are both in wonderful shape, oh to be young! Have a wonderful week everyone and stay warm!!!

A new beginning

Hi all! I can't believe how long it has been since my last post. Well, no news is good news! So far so good. This week I approach the one year mark and thankfully I have been very lucky during my treatment. Although the chemo was not much fun, it is over. Radiation went well and now I have 7 more herceptin treatments. Once that is complete I can have my port removed and the final reconstruction done. I am looking forward to the end. Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I am also moving in a new direction with My Gym. I have turned the gym over to My Gym Enterprises, the corporate arm of My Gym. I can't forsee anytime soon that I would be able to return and frankly my heart was not in it any more. The gym was not a profitable endeavor so it was clearly time to move in a new direction. I feel I need to focus on myself and my family. I am thankful that MGE decided to assume control as it allowed all my employees to keep their jobs. In today's economy that is a blessing. I am not sure what I will do next I just know that for the time being I will be in charge of the home front! I think everyone else in the family could use a little TLC for a change! I am excited to move forward and figure out what I want to be when I grow up! Have a great week everyone!

Radiation is over!

Finally after 7 long weeks my radiation treatment is over. My skin did surprisingly well. Although it looks like a bad sunburn on my chest and upper shoulder area in the back, it did not blister. It is beginning to peel and should heal quickly. Herceptin continues but that is nothing compared to everything else. I am still pretty tired but that should get better in the coming months. Football has begun for Noah and both he and James are loving it! Alex and Regan continue to cheer at soccer and football games. Regan did make the decision to quit gymnastics right before Labor Day. After 8+ years in the sport she has reached the end. Although she was sad for about 30 minutes she got over it fast. I think it was the right choice for her. She plans to go out for soccer this spring but for the first time she has her evenings free! Alex is playing soccer this fall and in fact is going to Des Moines this weekend for a tournament. Now instead of traveling for gymnastics it will be soccer...much more enjoyable to watch in my opinion! Homecoming is next week so the girls are looking forward to a busy but fun week! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Treatment continues

I am about halfway through radiation treatment and as the Dr. predicted the fatigue has returned. It is not quite as bad as it was during chemo but it is back. Mornings are pretty good but by early evening I am pretty tired. My skin looks good...a little red but overall it is fine. I have 2 Dr.'s appointment this week and another round of herceptin in addition to radiation daily. I am getting tired of the daily trips to the cancer center. School is going well for the kids. Alex and Regan have had homework daily, not a huge amount but enough to keep them busy. This week will include the first round of tests and quizzes. Noah hasn't had a lot of homework yet but I am sure that will change this week. Football is in full swing with 3 practices a week. Games should begin in September. Alex has her first varsity cheer event Friday with the Blue/Gold season Kick-Off. Not sure yet when Regan will begin cheering. James is starting to get hunting fever. He bought a couple of deer feeders this weekend and spent some time putting them together. We love fall between football and hunting it is our favorite time of year! Have a great week everyone!

Everyone is in school!

Noah started school this morning so now everyone is back in school! YEAH!!!! I love getting back into the routine. I saw the Dr. yesterday and all is going well. I am starting to get pink and a little sore around the area where my original tumor was. My energy level has been pretty good but the Dr. warned me that should begin to change around the halfway point of the treatment, Friday. Although it won't be anything like the fatigue from the chemo, it will get worse as the treatment progresses. The way I look at it, I just have to get through mid-Sept. then all will be good! Noah is busy with football right now and so is James. James helps coach. Alex starts soccer season this weekend and Regan still has gym 4 days a week. Cheerleading will probably start within the next 2 weeks for Alex and Regan so I am sure things will get busy. Curious fact....Regan has 3 other classmates named Regan and they are all guys! We thought her name was so original! That means there are 6 Regan's her exact age in our area!

Regan starts High School!

This morning I dropped Regan off at Aquinas for her orientation. The upperclassman greeted the freshman in Hawaiian attire and announced each freshman as they entered the school to cheers! Hard to believe I have 2 in high school. Alex went through orientation yesterday and received her schedule. No surprises but I have already requested a teacher change for both Alex & Regan. I also had to write a lot of checks. August is almost as bad as December with the additional expenses. The good part about high school is the school supply list, they don't have any! Each teacher gives a syllabus on the first day of class with a list of supplies. But for the most part it is just notebooks and paper. Noah starts school next week. Yeah!!!! I am feeling pretty good these days. My hair is growing back and my feet are feeling a little better. However, the daily trip to the Cancer Center for radiation treatment is getting old already! Only 4.5 more weeks to go. My skin is doing pretty good. It is starting to get red but hopefully it won't blister during treatment. Mom & Dad were supposed to come visit this week but my 92 year old grandmother fell and broke her hip so their visit is delayed. Have a great weekend!

Melting at a soccer tournament

We spent the day at Alex' soccer tournament in Raytown. It was close to 100 degrees and miserable. She and her teammates were just drenched! They played in the U-18 division and they did pretty good. Alex got decked a couple of times by girls that easily weighed 30 lbs more than her if not more. They have one more game tomorrow afternoon. We are heading to the Race for the Cure this morning for an early "run" to raise money for Breast Cancer research. I finished with my first few treatments of radiation. It goes pretty quickly and is just like a long x-ray. So far no skin changes but the radiation oncologist said this would start to happen at about the 10th treatment. So far no side effects to report. I did have another herceptin infusion Thursday and all went well. The pre-meds still make me sleepy during the treatment so I usually take a little nap. My feet are still very painful but wearing tennis shoes helps. Have a wonderful weekend everyone and stay cool!

Home at last!

We got back from vacation this weekend! It was so nice to have time together as a family. 2009 has been a difficult year so far but we all were able to relax and enjoy ourselves. Noah caught a bad cold so he doesn't feel the greatest but other than that we all came home fine...no swine flu aka H1N1! The girls enjoyed the cruise and made some good friends. They especially enjoyed the beach in Mexico. Our trip home was long with flight delays and misplaced luggage but all turned out well. Regan went to the ortho today and got her braces off. She has a beautiful smile now and commented "it was so worth it!" I had a Dr. appointment today and will start radiation tomorrow. Interesting to see how they shield the different parts of the body and target with lasers. The treatment will be everyday for 6.5 weeks. I should be done the week of Sept. 14th. My feet have been very painful lately. I was hoping they would start to feel better but so far they feel worse. Hopefully that will turn around. James is having shoe inserts made and I might try that to relieve some of the pain if it works for him. I do have more energy lately. Instead of one good day followed by a bad day I can usually make it almost 2 full days before the exhaustion wins out. I did great on the cruise until the last day. You would think all you could do on a cruise is relax, but not with an active 9 year old. We played ping pong, shuffle board, mini golf and rode the water slides with rarely a break in between. The lady in charge of checking out equipment knew Noah by name and didn't even make him check it out! Oh well I think he has helped me overcome a lot because he wants to play and doesn't understand mom is tired! Have a great week everyone!

1st Herceptin treatment

I had my first herceptin only treatment last Thursday and all went well. I did have a pre-med which made me tired during the treatment but I slept for a while and was fine to drive home. Felt pretty good, only a little upset stomach for a few days. I don't know if that was because of the treatment or our travel out of town for Hosea's wedding. My hands and feet are killing me lately and swell up quite a bit daily. I feel like an 80 year old when I get up first thing in the morning. My feet hurt so bad a limp around until I work the kinks out. It usually goes away by 9:00 am. James & I took Noah to World's of Fun this week since the girls are in Washington DC with their grandparents. There were no crowds and it was nice to have some one-on-one time with him. He rode all the rides he was tall enough for a couple of times. James and I rode a few rides but have decided we are getting to old for some of them. We can't quite handle the spinning and upside down stuff anymore. We are leaving on a little vacation this weekend. We are taking a 5 day cruise before I start radiation treatment on Aug. 3rd. I will have treatment every day until mid-september. I am currently working on building up some stamina. I usually have one good day and then a bad day. Trying to fight the exhaustion and get back to where I was before treatment started in January. This is going to take longer than I thought! I played tag with Noah tonight...dang that boy is fast! I am exhausted but as usual can't sleep. Enjoy the picture from the wedding this weekend!

Dr. visit tomorrow

Hi everyone! It has been a while since I updated the blog because nothing is new!!!! No chemo, no side effects just trying to get my body back in shape. I do have a summer cold but at least that didn't happen until after all the chemo. I am still very tired but I try everyday to accomplish a little more than the day before. I am sure I will start feeling more energetic soon. I have a Dr. visit tomorrow and will have an echocardiogram to check heart function. I am sure that will all be fine. I am also meeting with the radiation oncologist to get the radiation treatment underway. Later in the week I have a Herceptin infusion but the side effects should be minor...if not non-existent. I still have problems with my hands and feet but at least it hasn't gotten any worse. Looking forward to Hosea's wedding this weekend!

Chemo Graduate

Finally I have officially graduated from Chemotherapy. Although I still have to go to the infusion suite every 3 weeks to have a drug administered it is considered a maintenance drug not a chemotherapy drug. The maintenance drug, Herceptin, will be every 3 weeks for 13 more treatments. So today at the end of chemo I was presented with a purple heart certificate for surviving 24 weeks of chemo! I see the radiation oncologist on July 14 and will schedule the start of my radiation treatment. That will last for 6.5 weeks everyday but the weekends. It looks like I will be all done with treatment by early March 2010 and then I can schedule the final surgery along with the removal of my port!!!! Finally the light at the end of the tunnel. Now we just have to pray this never returns! Have a wonderful 4th of July!!

Bad decision

OK so trying chemo without the benefit of the steroids was a really bad decision. The treatment itself was fine but I have been sick ever since. I have been sick to my stomach, I have mouth sores again and just generally feel like YUCK! I guess the Dr. does know what she is doing. Hopefully I only have to take the steroids for one more week. I should know better at this point but I am tired of feeling shaky, having insomnia and gaining so much weight. I suppose in the grand scheme of things this should all be a minor annoyance but it doesn't feel like it. My last treatment is Thursday, July 2nd. Then I move on to radiation and chemo with only one drug every 3 weeks. I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel finally!

One more Treatment!

After my treatment yesterday I have one more to go. YEAH!!!! I even did this last one without the benefit of the steroids. I am tired of all the side effects of the steroids and decided to take my chances with treatment. It was fine, in fact I slept through most of it. Poor Debbie she sits with me during treatment and all I did was sleep! I am very shaky today which is the usual and I had a bad headache last night but the end is in sight. It has been a long 6 months but the end is finally here. In August I will start radiation and that will last for 33 days. I will still have chemo but only one drug every 3 weeks and there should not be many side effects. I won't totally be a chemo graduate for the next year but this is still pretty good! I had a dream the other night that I had hair and really I do have a little now. Maybe an inch all around. We are looking forward to the rest of summer and the ability to get on with things. No more chemo patient!!!!

3 more treatments!!!!

Tomorrow I am headed to chemo, but only 3 more to go. YEAH!!!! The neuropathy in my feet is really getting bad so it is time to quit these drugs. I finally went and purchased my first pair of Crocs today as the Dr. thought this would help the pain. They are just not that attractive but if it helps I guess it is worth it. Function over beauty....it is just hard to pay $40 for ugly shoes! My sister-in-law Elaine and I had a busy day today. She was in town with my father-in-law for a Dr.'s appt. so we made the most of the day. We shopped for hours and I am sure that didn't help the situation with my feet! She is getting ready to travel to Uganda with her son David so she got a lot of shots today too. We started out at the health department where she received 3 shots and ended up at a place called the travel and immunization clinic where she received another shot. She was a good patient but they wouldn't give her a sucker because of the risk of choking so I took her for a malt instead! She didn't even need me to hold her hand like I do with my kids when they get their shots. We shopped for clothes for my father-in-law as there is not much of a selection in Stockton, Kansas. He even has a new suit for Hosea's wedding this summer. He looks mighty handsome in all his new outfits. He had to model for us to make sure everything fit. I have been feeling pretty good this week. Aside from the foot pain I have also been dealing with nose bleeds and some back pain. Not sure what the nose bleed thing is about but I had 3 of them today. Very inconvenient. The back pain may just be because I am trying really hard to start building up more energy so I am trying to do more...just trying to get back to where I was last October. Maybe I am rushing it...who knows. I am just tired of being a chemo patient. Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

4 More Treatments to go

Okay so I am behind on the blogging but not much new to report. The weekly chemo treatments just suck. I think the earlier treatments were easier to deal with, maybe not physically but certainly emotionally. The fatigue seems to increase with each treatment and my energy level is about a zero lately. I met with my surgeon this week and so far she sees no sign of the cancer spreading. Apparently my oncologist has decided to put me on an oral agent for a number of years after chemo is done but she has not discussed this with me. It was in a letter to my surgeon. I will have most of the month of July off from treatment and will start radiation in August. We have decided to take a vacation, a cruise. I think everyone could use it. The kids are great. Regan is working hard at gym over the summer, she has practice Monday-Friday. Alex plays soccer a couple of times a week and Noah is busy with summer school. He is taking art and PE along with reading and math. In July he will have some fun camps to attend which should keep him busy. We did raise a lot of money at our Lu'au...$8.500.00!! Thanks to everyone for your generosity. We had a wonderful time and it was all for a good cause! Have a great week everyone!

2009 Lu'au a great success!

Thank you to all our friends and family who were able to join us for our Lu'au to benefit the Susan G. Komen foundation of Greater Kansas City. We had a wonderful time and feel very blessed by the support and generosity of everyone. A special thank you to all the employees of Haynes Equipment for helping pull this all together. The pig turned out great and the show was amazing. The performers were magnificent, the company was great and the food was delicious. We raised a great deal of money for a wonderful cause. Thanks again!

Lu'au this weekend

Aloha! We are getting ready for our first fundraiser for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure this Saturday, May 30th. It is a Lu'au with a traditional Kalua pig cooked Hawaiian Imu style. The Lu'au will be performed by the Ahuna Family from the islands of Hawaii. All funds raised at this event will benefit the Greater Kansas City Chapter of the Susan G. Komen for the Cure. So far we have over 150 people who plan to attend. Please pray for good weather! We had a wonderful Memorial weekend with the Bellerive's at Glen Elder Lake. Believe it or not the weather was gorgeous. I think this is the first time in 7 years we have not dealt with adverse weather conditions. James and the kids even got to water ski! Noah had a great time with Jake and I even made it on the boat. A great time was had by all. James & I both are a little under the weather but both are now on antibiotics. Hopefully the kids stay well. Chemo again tomorrow....yuck! The bright spot only 6 more to go!!! We plan to celebrate with a nice vacation in July. My hair is beginning to grow back mostly gray. I think I used to be blonde....not anymore, at least not until Stephanie can fix it. Join us if you can at the fundraiser this Saturday. If not pray for good weather! Aloha :]

Last Week of School

Well it has finally arrived...the last week of school. Noah can hardly wait for school to let out for the summer. Regan and Alex are done so mornings are hard for him. I am doing great. Chemo was a little more difficult this past Friday and yesterday was not a good day but today I feel much better. Hopefully chemo this Friday will be easier. One bright note, my hair is starting to grow back. Not much yet but a little each day. Who knew I wasn't a true blonde anymore????? Regan graduated last week and has been on the party circuit since then. James & I are hosting a fundraiser for the Susan G. Komen for the Cure organization of Greater Kansas City on Saturday, May 30th at 1:00 at Haynes Equipment. It is a Hawaiian Lu'au with performers from Hawaii and a traditional Kalua Pig roast. The event is free to attend. There will be an opportunity for love offerings to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure for Breast Cancer during the event. James is the driving force behind this event. He just thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to give back and help raise funds to stop this terrible disease. We would love to have everyone join us for a fun afternoon! If you plan to attend RSVP to Kathy@Hansen-Home.com by May 23rd so we can get a count for food. We are looking forward to the annual Bellerive Memorial Weekend Campout! James, Regan and Noah are leaving on Wednesday and Alex and I will take off after chemo on Friday! Have a great week everyone!

8 more treatments to go

I had chemo yesterday and I think my body is still humming from all the steroids. I did sleep a little better but seemed really drained after treatment. Just basic stuff wears me out and my fine motor skills seem to be very effected. I do think my hair is starting to grow back, YEAH! I have peach fuzz everywhere, even on my face which seems really weird...The neuropathy was pretty bad in my hands yesterday but it seems to have let up a little this morning. As the end of chemo approaches I am growing increasingly uneasy about how to get my life back on track. How do you not live in fear? During treatment you are actively doing something to fight this horrible disease but what next? My mother and sister gave me a book to read entitled After Breast Cancer but I have not read it yet. Maybe that will help. I have missed seeing my friends but I think they see their worst fear when they look at me...I don't know. It makes me sad. Prince of Peace families have been wonderful and I thank God everyday for being part of this community. Sitting in the chemo chair really puts your priorities in order and I intend to remember that feeling as I move forward in life. So much really doesn't matter. I now say what is on my mind and don't dance around it. Not that I every really did. Life is to short to be petty and mean. I hope to have many more years to teach my children how to embrace life but if not I will not waste the time I have now! Have a wonderful weekend!

Summer is almost Here!

Yes, believe it or not it is almost summer! Regan has 7 days left of school and this includes field day and a trip to World's of Fun! Alex is done on the 14th but has finals until the 19th and Noah is done Thursday, May 21st. I know the kids are looking forward to summer. I am trying to get the house in order so we can enjoy our days together. Chemo is going fine. I am having a little trouble with my hands and feet. It's a side effect of the chemo. I am taking a dietary supplement and B-6 to help. They warned me this would be a problem and that there isn't much they can do about it. Some days they hurt like I have bad arthritis other days they just tingle. Head aches have been a problem lately but I don't know if it is the chemo or allergies. Only 9 more treatments to go!!! The bathroom is almost finished, Finally! We just need to put the baseboards back on and the door frame. It looks good! This project was a lot harder than I anticipated! We are looking forward to Memorial Day and the volleyball tournament. Have a wonderful week.

Regan received the sacrament of confirmation!

Regan was confirmed tonight in the church. We are very proud of the young lady she has become. She looked beautiful in her dress and she and all her friends looked so grown up. I am thankful to be here to watch her grow and mature. She will graduate from Prince of Peace of May 14th and is looking forward to high school. That just doesn't seem possible. She did wonderful at Regionals this past weekend. She placed 8th on bars and had a very good meet overall. I know she is happy the season is over so she can move on to the fun new tricks this summer. Noah has been under the weather but hopefully he will feel better tomorrow. Alex continues to play soccer in between the monsoon rain in KC. She played outside midfielder this past weekend at a tournament and scored! She is very fast on the field and has a great deal of stamina. The coach runs her pretty hard. She has a home game tomorrow if the rain holds off. I have another round of chemo on Friday....yuck. This weekly thing is not much fun. Although the side effects are not as bad I feel like a barely recover and it's time for another round. I am sick of cancer and chemo and everything that goes with it. I just want my life back....

Regan is an Aquinas Cheerleader!

Yes, it is true...I have 2 cheerleaders living in the house. Regan is very excited. She tried out tonight and found out around 7pm that she did in fact make it. Of course Alex called me 30 minutes prior to tell me she made it. Varsity helps out with try outs so she knew immediately. What she hasn't figured out yet is that varsity will be at our house around 5:30 am to kidnap her and take her to breakfast! I am happy for her. I have chemo tomorrow and then Regan and I are heading to Wisconsin for regional gymnastics early Saturday morning. Alex has a soccer tournament and Noah has a track meet and a soccer game. James will stay here to help out with that. Regan and I will head back on Monday. I hope the side effects from chemo are minor again. Last week Sunday and Tuesday were not great. That should work out fine as Monday will be our travel day. My father-in-law Joe had knee replacement surgery Wednesday at Shawnee Mission Medical Center. He is doing very well. He was up and walking this morning. Although he is very weak, he seems to be doing much better this time. If all goes well he will be released Saturday morning. He will head to the nursing home in Downs where Memere is. Enjoy the beautiful spring weather!

Rainy Day

Well it's raining in KC again today. At least it is in the 50's. Chemo on Friday wasn't bad at all. The worst part was the pre-medication they gave me to avoid an allergic reaction. They gave me a very large dose of benadril followed by ativan. I felt like I had been drinking. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. Thankfully that wore off pretty quickly. Not much by way of side effects, just a little upset stomach that first night. Overall I feel great which is such a nice change from the last chemo. The last one took two weeks before I felt decent again. James and I even went out to dinner last night! The tile is finally up in the bathroom thanks to my wonderful husband. He and I tackled that project yesterday. It was a 2 person job because the tile was so heavy. It looks great. Today I will grout it and stain the cabinet. The goal is to have it all done by Wednesday! Noah had a track meet yesterday. It was in Bonner Springs. It took us 30 minutes to get there and I kid you not he was done with his events in 8 minutes! Third graders go first and they can only run in two events. He ran the 200 and the 60 and we were out of there in 15 minutes. Not like the 4 hours ordeal when the girls were involved. Soccer of course was cancelled because of the rain. We will be playing soccer games in July at this rate. Hopefully the sun will come out this afternoon so we can enjoy some time outside. Have a great week everyone!

Chemo Day

Today I go in for a new drug combination that I will have every week for 12 weeks. I am praying this is a little easier than the last drugs! It would be nice to not feel like *@#$ today. Alex has a soccer game and I would love to go see her play. She made varsity cheerleader last night...yeah Alex. Of course it was bitter sweet. One of her good friends was cut from the squad so she really didn't enjoy the night too much. She is very sad for her friend and confused because she was a very good cheerleader. When she tried out as a freshman it was the same thing. Next week Regan tries out for the freshman team. We pray that she will not be disappointed like the friend of Alex. Hopefully we will have a beautiful weekend. Have a great day!

Mom & Dad heading back to Florida

Mom & Dad left today so we are on our own again. My parents were wonderful while here. Dad painted my bathroom, not once but twice (changed my mind about the color) and Mom organized my whole house and did 800 loads of laundry. I know they are both looking forward to returning home and taking a break! Alex has cheer tryouts this week and Regan does next week. Regan and I are also going to make a trip to Wisconsin for the Regional gymnastic meet. She competes on April 26th in the Wisconsin Dells. Noah has a soccer game and a track meet this weekend at the same time so I guess he has to pick. I am feeling pretty good...just very tired. I don't have much energy but with the kids in school I try to rest during the day. If I run around and try to keep up my normal pace I pay for it the next day. At least I am over the nausea! I start a new drug regime this Friday so I hope the side effects are minimal! We enjoyed having everyone visit this Easter. The kids love when their cousins come to town. Noah was very sad yesterday afternoon when everyone went home. Have a wonderful week everyone!

Bump in the road

This week I had a little "bump in the road" but all is now well. Monday we took Regan out to eat for her birthday and I was not feeling very good. I had a headache that just wouldn't go away. I went to bed early that night but woke up around 1 am with a horrible migraine headache. It was the worst I have ever experienced. I actually called the on call oncologist because I didn't think I could handle it. He suggested the ER. James was scheduled to go out of town early Tuesday AM so I decided to take some pain pills so I could make it until morning. I did sleep for a few hours but woke with the same pain. I called my oncologist Tuesday morning and went in to see her. She gave me a number of IV medications and ordered a CT scan of my head. Of course the fear was the cancer had spread and that is what was causing the headache. Thankfully that was not the case. The CT scan was normal. This was either a very bad migraine or a reaction to the neulasta shot I had last week. The medication made me sleep most of the day Tuesday which was the best thing for the pain. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. Since then I have been feeling much better and am looking forward to a wonderful Easter!

Bad week behind me

Well this past week has been a very long week! Chemo last Friday was brutal. I didn't really feel like myself until Friday, April 3rd. I did have my neulasta shot on Wednesday and it has definitely worked. My counts on the day of chemo were only .7. After the shot it is up to 4.9! The problem with the shot is that it gives you flu like symptoms. When you already feel like #$@% from the chemo that was hard. It also induced another vomiting episode but the good news is that the worst if finally over!!!!! My next combination of drugs should be much easier on me. I can honestly say if the Dr. came to me and said I have to do these drugs again I would have to think long and hard about it. I just don't know if I could do it again. On the bright side, my mother has been in town for the past week and a half and my house has NEVER been so organized. She has been going through cupboards and throwing away the junk. Love you mom! James and I took Regan to Columbia Missouri on Friday night for her State gymnastic competition. She did wonderful! She even qualified to go to Regionals in Wisconsin on April 26th! We are very proud of her. Noah ran in his first track meet this weekend. James and I didn't get to see it. My father took him to the meet and then they had a special lunch at McDonald's after. I think he had a wonderful day. Alex didn't have any soccer games this week due to the rain but she has a game Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week. Go Saints! Tomorrow we will be celebrating Regan's 14th birthday. It doesn't seem possible that my little girl can get her driving permit! Take care everyone and have a fabulous week!

Snow Day!

As Regan said yesterday.."why do we get all this snow on a weekend. We will never get a snow day!" She is so right if this would have happened on Thursday they surely would have had Friday off! Oh well it is certainly beautiful out there this morning. Noah spent most of yesterday afternoon outside playing in the snow. It wasn't too cold and he even got his sister to join him outside. Well I did end up having chemo on Friday, but I had to fight the Dr. to make it happen. I can't believe I fought for chemo! My absolute neutrophil count was only .7 and I have the beginnings of cellulitis, an infection in the skin. Dr. Rabe wanted to send me home and wait a week. I guess I threw a little fit. She and I had a discussion about this and I made it clear I had a life to live and waiting until next Friday would disrupt what little I have been able to plan and it was unacceptable. She agreed to give me the chemo but I have to come in next week to get a shot of a drug called neulasta. This is supposed to boost my white blood cell count. We had discussed this during my last chemo treatment because my counts were low then so I was a little upset that we didn't do it then. It turns out this one shot costs $6,400.00! That is why we did not do it last week. Can you believe that! This is so obscene I think I will write my congressman about the need for health care reform in this country. What do people without insurance do when presented with the need for this shot! What is this liquid gold??? Anyway I think I threw such a fit because everything has been out of my control for so long I just wanted one thing my way! Well I got my wish and feel like *@#$! Serves me right I guess. I am very shaky and already have mouth sores. I didn't eat much yesterday but I haven't gotten sick yet so that is a plus. The kids are doing great. Alex is enjoying soccer and Regan is gearing up for state. She has had a pinched nerve in her back but has been seeing a chiropractor for it. Noah was supposed to have his first soccer game yesterday but it was snowed out. His first track meet is next weekend and he is very excited! Have a wonderful week everyone!

Chemo Tomorrow

Well tomorrow is my last bad chemo. I am already sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Hopefully it won't be as bad as last time. I felt terrible for over a week. My eyelashes and eyebrows are beginning to fall out, even with the brow and lash gel. Maybe I will be lucky and they won't fall out completely. Alex played her first soccer game this week. It was fun to watch. Noah is supposed to have a game Saturday but I doubt they will have them play in the snow! Regan is getting ready for State and is finally up to 80% on her work outs. She told me tonight how tired she was at the end of her floor routine. Funny how quickly they lose stamina when they are out with an injury. James is busy, busy at work lately and unfortunately I am not helping matters. I think he feels he should spend more time at home which puts him even farther behind. He has been such a huge help throughout this. I know he is looking forward to my parents arriving so he can get more done. I tried hard to finish my remodel project in the bathroom before chemo, but I gave up. I just don't have the energy to work a full day so I only get a little at a time done. Oh well, it will be there when I feel better. Have a great weekend!

Counts way down

As expected my counts are extremely low. My absolute neutophil count is down to .3. So far that is the lowest it has been. I need to be back up to at least a 1.0 by next week to proceed with chemo. Keep me in your prayers this week. What this means is that I am grounded for the weekend. I have to avoid people, public places, fresh fruits and vegetables...pretty much all fun! Hopefully the weather will be nice so I can at least get outside. At least with the tournament there is something worth watching on TV! Go Jayhawks!!! Regan has a pinched nerve in her back so she has been unable to work out at gymnastics. She is seeing a chiropractor and he thinks he can get her back to 100% prior to the State Meet. Alex has her first soccer game this weekend. We are looking forward to watching some fun games. I have missed watching soccer. We will get a double dose this year as Noah is playing too. Noah had his first track practice this week. I think he is going to love this sport. He runs all the time. Have a great weekend everyone...GO KU!

Counts are up

Good news, my counts are up this week. After starting very low at the time of chemo my counts have rebounded nicely. I am up to 1.4 for my absolute neutrophils. This puts me out of danger for the week. Unfortunately they can tell that my counts are beginning to fall because the baby white blood cells, monocytes, are very low, 1.6. I just have to make sure my white blood cell count remains above a 1.0. I don't want my next chemo to be delayed. I am feeling pretty good this week. The nausea comes in waves, usually in the afternoon. So I try to stay busy to keep my mind off it. I have started a remodeling project in the 1/2 bath off the kitchen. I am stripping wallpaper, repainting, installing a new sink, countertop and backsplash and maybe refinishing the cabinet. Of course the wallpaper came off in tiny strips because the previous owners put wallpaper on bare sheetrock! Now I have to repair some areas of the wall. I am learning how to do some of the work myself by watching the DIY network. Daytime TV leaves a lot to be desired. If I can handle this project I have another larger project I would like to tackle. James is less than enthusiastic about this. Oh well, it gives me something to do. The kids are on spring vacation this week so hopefully we will have some good weather. Regan does have a small gymnastic meet in town next Friday night if anyone would like to come watch. Let me know if you are interested and I can forward the details. Have a great weekend!

Spring Fever

OK, What happened to the warm weather? Chemo went pretty well last week. I did get sick during the infusion but that was the first time. I am still pretty sick to my stomach but at least it only comes in waves. Mom went home today but it has been wonderful having her here to take care of everything. She and my sister Debbie have been in charge since last week. My house has never been so clean and organized. I saw the plastic surgeon on Monday and he put me on antibiotics. He was suspicious that I have a slight infection developing in the skin. He wouldn't fill the implants until he knows I am not running an infection. I saw the allergist today to help me with my cough. Don't you just love when the Dr. says..."we never see this." I guess I have a very high number of allergy cells in my nose which is causing me to cough. They aren't sure how to treat me because they would prefer to give me steroids but my oncologist does not think that is a good idea right now. They have started me on a nasal spray to see if this helps and they put me on prilosec. I guess heartburn can cause coughing and the chemo gives me heartburn. I am exhausted today but I think if I got out more that would not be as bad. Noah has been home sick all week too but he is finally feeling better. We are looking forward to the 8th grade play tonight. Oh and by the way, Alex made the soccer team! I hope it warms up for the games!

Chemo today

The kids asked me last week what I was giving up for Lent. I decided chemo would be a good thing to give up. Unfortunately I guess I will have to pick something else. I am headed to chemo today....yuck! One bright spot is that my mom came to visit. Yeah! She plans to stay through next Wednesday to help me out. For those of you in town, next Wednesday at 7 pm, at Prince of Peace, Regan is in the 8th grade play. It is a take-off of the Pirates of Penzance. Should be fun, so feel free to join us. For Regan this means she is one step closer to graduation. She just has a few more weeks at Prince of Peace! We are loving this warm weather, especially Noah who wanted to take the day off school today to maximize his outdoor play time! Regan is off to St. Louis tomorrow for another gym meet. One of her teammates has agreed to take her as I don't think I will feel up to it. Thanks Sherri & Ashlynn! Alex has one more day of tryouts for soccer and hopefully she will make the team. They made some cuts last night and Alex survived the first round. Hopefully things will go well for her today and she will make the team! We hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. We are going to try to get outside and enjoy the weather!

Alex turns 16!

It's hard to believe but Alex is now 16! She has turned into such a wonderful young lady. We took her to dinner Friday night at the Melting Pot and enjoyed a wonderful evening as a family! We did have a little mishap that day when her friend ran into her car in our driveway. The damage is just to the rear quarter panel and shouldn't take too much to fix. Having cancer really puts the small stuff into perspective. Her friend was very upset but I told her as a teenager you are going to have an accident. This counts as hers and nobody got hurt which is the important thing. Her father was a little more upset but I reassured her we were not. Alex was upset at first until I pointed out that 10 years from now when she and Andrea are together reliving old times they will laugh about her 16th birthday! Saturday Alex had a cheer competition and Regan had a gymnastic meet in Columbia. The timing worked out perfectly. I was able to watch Alex and then make it home to go with James, Noah and Regan to Columbia. Alex' team got a 2 at this competition and Regan did well at her meet. She did forget the ending to her floor routine which was kind of funny. Noah had a basketball party today. His team was undefeated this season! They played great but now he is looking forward to soccer. I have not been feeling that great today. My cough is back and my head hurts. It is probably from the cold I have been fighting for the past week. It didn't help that yesterday I left the house at 6:30 am and didn't get back until 11pm. I took a long nap today and am hoping tomorrow is a better day. I have chemo this next Friday so hopefully I start to feel better. My mom is coming to visit this week and we are all looking forward to seeing her.

Counts are Low Again

Hi all! I went for my weekly blood draw and unfortunately my white blood cell counts are very low again. My absolute neutophil count is 1.3. At a 1.0 I am at high risk for infection so I have been trying to avoid crowds and sick people. I do have a cough right now but it might just be my asthma acting up. Noah finished his basketball season yesterday. His team went undefeated all year! He was a little upset because he did not score but ice cream seemed to make that all better. Next on to soccer. Hopefully it will start to warm up. I don't relish sitting outside in this weather to watch soccer! For those of you interested in watching Regan at a meet she is going to have one in town the third week of March. When I get the details I will let you know. Next Friday Alex turns 16! It is hard to believe she is that old. We have been holding her off with the car as she currently only has a restricted driver's license. The restricted let's her drive to and from school or to and from work. It will be nice to let her finally drive to and from practices and run errands and the like! Have a great week!

OK so it wasn't easier!

James was right I should have waited before declaring it was easier...it wasn't. Although I never did "get sick" I sure didn't feel like eating or doing anything else for that matter. Today is the first day I feel human again. Although I am still shaky I can at least handle the thought of food and was able to eat a pretty good breakfast. A HUGE thank you goes out to Debbie and Amy for stepping in and handling everything around here. I have decided I am not as tough as my mother who was able to work and carry on a normal life throughout her chemo. Yesterday I thought I was doing good to take a shower and get dressed! James has been wonderful throughout this but I know he has to be getting tired of handling all the food around here. Regan made a request for dinner tonight so I am going to give it a try. The kids are great. Cheerleading is coming to a close and soccer is gearing up for both Alex and Noah. Noah is also going out for track this spring and sign ups are this week. Regan has 3 more meets to go this season before State and she is thinking about trying out for cheerleading at Aquinas.

Round 2 done!

My second round of chemotherapy is behind me. Only 2 more bad ones to go. I did pretty good this time. My sister came with me and we tried a new approach. During the pre-medicating stage she brought me a full lunch so I ate a good meal before the bad stuff was infused. I did not get as sick to my stomach. I was achey that night but nothing like the last time. I even managed to run some errands yesterday with Debbie's help. I was able to watch Noah's basketball team manhandle another 3rd grade team. James told me I should wait one more day before declaring this was easier as the Dr. has warned me that the 3rd day tends to be the worst. I guess we will see. I am very shaky today but I am still on high doses of steroids and that could be part of the problem. Alex went to WPA last night with a boy from school. She spent the night at a friends house so I don't have the details yet. All of my hair is gone and Noah thinks I look pretty funny. I have worn my wig a few times but my scalp is still really sore so I have been relying on hats and scarves. Without hair you tend to get cold fast!
I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day!

Happy Monday!

Good morning! I had my check up with the oncologist Friday and unfortunately my white blood cell count as well as my red blood cell count is very low. This means I am grounded. I am very susceptible to infection right now so I have to avoid contact with everyone. Even though I didn't go anywhere I still managed to get a cold and felt pretty lousy all weekend. My hair finally fell out. Saturday it was coming out by the handful so I asked James to just shave it off. I am glad I had already cut it short. I think it would have been very traumatic to shave off long hair. I was upset for a little while but got over it quickly! Today I have about 1/2 inch of hair but that is falling out as well. I am supposed to see the plastic surgeon today but I think I will cancel. With a cold already I don't think it is such a good idea. Regan did great at her gymnastic meet. She said it was huge! She did place in vault and all-around. A big thank you to my cousin Pat and his children Grayson & Morgan for making the trip into the city to cheer her on. Have a great week everyone!

Check up

Yesterday I saw a urologist for the UTI and he suspects the ultrasound is how I contracted the infection. The antibiotics seem to be doing their job so I will just need a follow-up in a few weeks. I saw the nurse practitioner today at the cancer center and everything seems fine. I am neutropenic now as my white blood cell count is very low. That just means I am at risk for infection and need to stay away from people and public places until my white blood cell count goes up. I am still anemic so I get tired easily. I am not supposed to eat fresh fruits and vegetables for a while and they recommend I avoid salads. I guess this has to do with how thoroughly the food is washed and prepared. They even suggested I avoid restaurants as you just can't be sure of food safety unless you do the preparation. Didn't someone tell them I don't cook??? Next week is my next chemo so hopefully my counts go back up by next week. Have a great weekend!

Great Week!

This week has been wonderful. The side effects are beginning to decrease and I still have hair! I told James I try not to brush it much or mess with it. I know it will fall out I am just trying to prolong this. I am on antibiotics for a slight infection but I feel good! The mouth sores are still a pain making eating a little more of a challenge but at least I can look at food this week. Regan and James are heading to Chicago today for a gymnastic meet and Alex is off to Wichita on Saturday for a cheerleading competition. Noah has been busy with basketball and lots of homework this week. A big thank you to all the My Gym families who have so graciously brought us wonderful food. We have been freezing a lot for the week when I don't feel so great. My next chemo treatment is February 13th so I have a feeling James and the kids will be digging in the freezer a lot that week. I am off to another Dr. today to try to figure out why I contracted this infection, believe it or not they think it was caused by e-coli. Thanks again for you wonderful support!

Long Week

Well this first week after chemo has been rather long. The side effects have been many and most of them have been strange. Of course there has been a lot of nausea but so far I have managed to keep food down and eat most days. Mornings tend to be the worst. The worst day by far was the day of the chemo. I was very sick that evening which I did not expect. I thought it would take a few days before I would really feel the effects. My lips peel almost daily and I have sores inside my mouth. My vision has been affected as well as my concentration. It is really aggravating. I have to focus much more intently to read and I feel like I have ADD, I can't stay on task and complete anything! Probably the hardest day was Wednesday when I had my hair cut off. After everything I have been through I can't believe how difficult that was. I know it is just hair and it will grow back but that was a bad day. I did receive my first piece of good news though...the cancer has not spread! After the PET scan there was an area of suspicion so I had some additional scans done. Yesterday I received word that all was well. The cancer is at stage III. A small victory to celebrate! This afternoon I will go in to have some blood work done to see where my white and red blood cell counts are at. I hope my white cell count isn't too low because Noah has developed a cold. James and the kids have been real troupers and have really stepped up to help out this week. I am amazed at how grown up my kids can be!

Chemo

I am done with my first round of chemo. I told James the only way I can describe how I feel is "funky". The gave me 2 anti-nausea medications first via my port after drawing blood for the iron study and a CBC. Then the nurse pushed in the adriamycin. This is blood red and in fact does look like liquid poison. Almost immediately I could taste it. They had me chew ice during this to try to prevent mouth sores. When that was done they began the cytoxin. When they started this drug I got light-headed and my nose got stuffy. The nurse said this was normal. Before leaving they gave me 5 prescriptions for nausea. I told James what does that tell you???? 2 IV infusions and 5 prescriptions all for nausea...I think it may be a long weekend.

After chemo James and I got a bowl of soup. I wanted to eat something right away. The nurse practitioner I saw on Tuesday told me that by Friday night I probably won't feel to great. Thanks for all the prayers!

Pet Scan

OK, yesterday I was the human pin cushion. To complete the PET scan they have to inject radioactive dye into a vein. Sounds easy but my veins are shot. They tried 5 times before any success. A few times they missed the veins but most of the time they hit the vein and then it collapsed. My right hand and arm is black and blue. They even tried on the inside of my wrist...ouch! The Dr. couldn't even get it. Eventually they had a chemotherapy technician come and put it in. She got it on the first try. They put the port in place so they could avoid constantly sticking me however, the port can't be used for this kind of dye. After the PET scan I met with the Nurse Practitioner to go over the side effects I can expect from the chemo and the medications they will prescribe to help combat them. Probably the biggest concern will be the fatigue. I am still anemic and the chemo may make this worse which will trigger greater fatigue. Of course they warned me about the nausea but I will have no less then 5 prescriptions to combat this. I will lose my hair the first week of February but it should begin to come back this summer. Food and drink may have a metallic taste but there is not much they can do about that. I may experience mouth sores and GI upset but not everyone does. The good news in all this is that the first 4 treatments will be the worst. Once I move into the second phase of treatment the side effects should subside.

Friday is the day of my first treatment. Please keep me in your prayers!

Port in place

I am now two steps closer to my first treatment. I had an echo cardiogram this morning and the port went in this afternoon. The weather made things a little tricky today. I was supposed to be at the Cardiologist by 8:30 this morning for an 8:45 procedure. I got stuck on Quivira of all places for 45 minutes! It took me 45 minutes to get from 135th St. & Quivira to I-435. Luckily there were a number of patients that didn't show up so it was not a problem. Debbie came over and she and James took me to the hospital to have the port put in. I arrived at 11:30 and was out of there by 3:00. Things went well. I am pretty sore tonight but surprisingly I am not nearly as tired as the last time they put me under. So long as I limit activity with my right arm I am fine. We spent a nice quiet evening at home which was fine with everyone as we are all tired of this cold!

Treatment set

Today James and I met with the oncologist so I finally have my treatment protocol. My first treatment is scheduled for Friday, January 23rd. I will be receiving Adriamycin and Cytoxan every 3 weeks for 4 treatments. After that I move on to Taxol and Herceptin every week for 12 weeks. Following that I will continue with Herceptin alone for 40 weeks. This will be administered through my port at 3 week interevals. The side effects of these drugs are many so please pray for me. Tomorrow I am having an echo-cardiogram along with the placement of my port. The echo-cardiogram is to make sure my heart is strong enough to handle the drugs. Next week I am scheduled for a PET scan. The PET scan or Positron Emission Tomography provides the doctors with a look inside my body showing "anatomic structures and metabolic activity. " The doctor is looking to see if the cancer has spread to other organs.

Today was a hard day. I knew all of this information before but discussing it in detail makes it much more real. Thank you for your continued prayers!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! We made it back from Florida safe and sound. It was a very long drive, it took about 25 hours because we took the southern route. The weather was bad and we didn't want to chance it. Monday I saw the plastic surgeon and he finally took my other drain out! The drain was in for one day short of a month and I was very ready to get rid of it. I am swollen today because of the fluid build up but that should resolve quickly. My next appointment is January 15 with the oncologist. The next day, I have a surgical procedure to insert the port in my chest. Chemo should start the following week. :(

Noah turned 9 during our Florida visit! Regan is getting prepared for her competition season to start. Her first meet is January 18 in Des Moines. She is doing very well. Alex decided to try out for soccer this year because she never got the chance to try out last year. She started her conditioning workouts today. "Don't get your hopes up," She told me. She always underestimates herself.

We hope everyone had a Happy New Year!